So, almost two years later, I finished my 52nd story, which you can check out here. If there is anyone out there who isn’t convinced that writing is like exercise and must be done regularly in order to stay in shape, well this story is proof of that. Writing is not easy, but the act of writing does become just a bit less taxing when you get that butt in the seat and start. In fact, it’s quite enjoyable–sometimes. My 52nd story, is a step towards finding my footing again, which is good. That said, in my opinion, it seems to suffer from something I call the beeflessness of bad writing: Interesting idea, but maybe not quite right for the genre of micro-fiction, or just lacking in enough intellectual protein to make the complete journey. So why do I post it?
You can only find out what works by getting yourself writing, and I need deadlines in order to get myself writing. So I told myself I wanted post this week and I went for it. But here’s the problem: how do I balance my need for getting things done with the need to be patient?
One thing I have not done enough as a writer is give myself the permission and time to go back and re-do things, which is odd considerimng the name and theme of this blog. But what I mean here is that I’ve come to realize that one of my biggest challenges is finding the right line between patience and laziness. In other words, the more I listen to other people talk about their projects, the more I realize that the reason that a lot of projects don’t get done is that people don’t actually do the hard work and do them. At the same time, you have to be patient. You have to value your work enough to make sure that it’s worthy of readers.
For the film projects I’m working on, patience is not a choice. I’m kind of stuck right now because I don’t have some basic gear yet, and even when I do get that done, there is also the problem of not having the right people or having the right people who don’t have time just now. So, patience is forced upon me. That said, I have to push hard to look for ways to do what I can or I won’t ever find the funds to get my equipment or to get those people I need.
As I write this, I realize that what it means to be an artist, a real artist, is finding that sweet spot for yourself and not giving in to some kind of external pressure. The idea of taking that kind of control is both extremely exciting AND overwhelming. But it is where I need to get.
What do you guys think? How do you find that place between pushing yourself to get work done and waiting for it to be done?